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| I hope Elric2012 doesn't mind me copying this from Deviant Art. What a beautifully crafted Strength card - from his tarot deck that he's creating. https://elric2012.deviantart.com/art/The-Strength-Card-REVISED-175917651 |
So, this guy befriends me on my author Facebook account. My privacy settings are much lower on that account, because I use it to promote my books, and I don't want to turn people away. I accepted his friend request. Then he starts messaging me and asking me personal questions. He lives in a country in Northern Africa. I ask him what he wants, stressing that I don't do long-distance relationships. Really, how can you get to know someone who you never see and when you do see them, it's just for a holiday? You don't get to see them in real life, how they respond to situations, and how they get on with friends and family. It freaks me out! That's why I don't do these things.
I've heard of so many people being scammed through a man who messages them on Facebook or a dating site. He romances them with flattery and romantic words, then asks for money so he can fly to their country and visit them. Some women actually send the men money and then find out it was a scam. I heard a story recently about a total jerk who managed to convince a woman to fly over to his country to meet him (they'd actually met previously but briefly) and then told her it was a joke - a bet he'd made with his friends that he could get a really ugly woman to do his bidding! She was devastated, as you can imagine.
Back to my situation: this online man gets upset with me and accuses me of being racist because I wasn't interested in chatting. I stressed again that I'm not interested and that it's nothing to do with race, but because it would never work and how can he want me so much if he knows nothing about me? He responds with a message, saying he really wants to come and visit me and build a life with me! Sigh... I just ignored him and I've unfriended him.
It makes me think of how desperate women can get for a man that they will get taken by these fellows. Ladies, we don't need a man. They enhance our lives (if they're good men); they don't complete us. Really, we need to find our happiness in ourselves first.
As a writer and editor of romantic fiction, I now have an aversion to books where the woman is now complete when she finds her "perfect" man. What utter crud! We are whole and complete on our own. Yes, having a partner to share our lives with is beautiful and wonderful, but if we tap into God's love and love ourselves enough, that big, gaping emotional hole won't be there. And then we won't feel desperate to fill it with the first guy that comes along. And then get used and abused along the way.
So, in the meantime, while I wait for that moment when I meet the right man, I'm working on filling up that hole and loving, respecting, and appreciating myself. Validating myself! Wahoo!
We're powerful creatures - women. We don't have to give away our power to anyone. Tame the beast like in the picture above!
Tiny Buddha is brimming over with wisdom, as always. I love this article:
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