It's been so long since I've blogged about anything other than promoting my writer friend's books. Since June, my life has turned upside down. Sometimes, life throws us a curveball. We're used to so many constants in our lives, but then suddenly they get swept out from under our feet and we have to find a new normal.
In June, I injured my knee quite badly that I had to have an operation a week later. After the operation, I wore a nasty, constrictive brace (with yucky velcro that poked me and gave me rashes and that kept falling down.) I used crutches for about three weeks and the brace for six weeks. I also had to visit the physiotherapist and do lots of boring and sometimes painful exercises. Finally, I'm mobile again but I still walk with a limp and get pain. But I'm relieved to be out of that brace!
About a week or two after the operation, my husband broke the news that he no longer loves me. It's complicated but he's divorcing me. This was a huge shock as I was totally in love with him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. So, in between breaking the news to our families who are devastated and just as shocked, and trying to work out how our lives are going to change, and working through the five stages of grief about ten times over already, I haven't been much in the blogging world.
I'm also concerned with the direction of my writing. My love of romance was inspired by my own personal love story. My hubby swept me off my feet many years ago and gave me a fairytale romance and a happy marriage (although in retrospect, I can see we had some issues). At the moment, I'm questioning everything - like the validity of our love and my whole concept of romance. I know the hurt is really raw and new so it's going to take time to find healing. But hey, what's it about life? The bad things often bring about good things and they open the doors for a new start. I've realised how much support I have in terms of friends and loved ones. I've also grown really close to God in this time and have started going back to church (despite my major issues with church in the past) and I'm opening up my heart to all the wonderful juicy life wisdom and maturity God is going to bring about in my life through this experience. Maybe I'll have more compassion for others. Possibly one day I can help someone else through a hard time too. I know I'll have lots of good fuel for my writing.
So, I stopped the romance I was in the middle of writing - I'd reached 39K. I started an urban fantasy novel which has just reached that point (about 40K) on Friday. This book has flowed so beautifully - I'm so grateful. The words have tumbled out. A lot of them have been connected to my own pain - the writing has been cathartic to me. That said, I'm not sure if urban fantasy is my new genre. I do think I'll write more, but I'm also keen on woman's fiction. I just can't think of writing pure romance at the moment. And I have a feeling it may not happen for a few years. It's presenting a huge challenge in terms of my writing persona. Everything about my writing image projected to the world is romance. I'm taking it one step at a time. I'd love to know what you think, whether you will still read my books if they're not romance.
But I do still have two romances coming out - the second edition of "Reminding Me of You" to come out probably in October with Clean Reads (this new edition is awesome if I may say so myself), and The Album 4 which will come out in September. I'm also very excited as I've been given an Elite Review for The Album 1 by Int'Dale magazine. Further news about this to follow...
Addendum or new development to this blog post:
Funny how after we post something on the blogosphere, we suddenly have an epiphany or we realise that maybe we want to take back what we've said or adjust it. I was thinking about no longer writing romance and I suddenly had this determination inside me to show the world that there is true romance out there and what it looks like. Sure, I may have just experienced the shattering of my romantic dreams and question the validity of my romance of the last twenty years. But that doesn't mean true romance doesn't exist. (Oh, and by the way, true romance isn't those tingles and happy feelings all the time - true romance is loving someone when you feel it or don't!) Sure, it really hurts that this romantic soul has suffered a broken heart. A part of me wants to crawl under a rock and say "poor me," but there's another shiny part inside my heart that says, "on no, there is true love out there. One day I'm going to find someone who loves me just for me. Someone who believes in love forever with me, who considers the vows sacred and precious even in the hard times." So, I'm going to write about this type of person. I'm going to continue to write romance. So, to the dragon of sadness and broken dreams, you're defeated. I'm going to slay you with my words! Wish me luck, fellow valiant knights!
